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Ten Ways to Get Yourself Ready for Dating
by: Jane Johnson
1) So what’s it gonna be?
Decide on your attitude – a positive attitude can make
all the difference. If you view dating or finding your soul-mate
as a nagging problem that has yet to be resolved – you
effectively close down access for increased possibilities
to come in. By adopting an attitude of optimism you create
space for broader thinking and infinite possibilities.
2) What I really want is…
What is your primary aim for dating or in attracting a soul-mate?
Define with clarity what your purpose is. Clarity is what
brings balance between hope and fear. List 50 qualities you
most want in a long-term relationship. Check-mark those qualities
that are non-negotiable.
3) What’s important?
Get clear about your personal values. What is most important
to you about how you live your life? Your values are your
personal operating system. Use them as your decision making
tool – which includes evaluating if a relationship is
right for you or not.
4) Yep – that’s me!
What makes you happy? What lights you up? What is the passion
that fuels your dreams? What are your strengths? What are
your needs? Know yourself better than you know anyone else.
When you can easily and confidently talk about “who
you are” you become a magnet for what you want most
AND people will help you get it – because you have told
them! You know that feeling of satisfaction when you help
someone get what they want? Well others want to help you too!
The clearer you are about what you want – the more others
understand and can help you get it.
5) Ahhhhh…extreme self-care – it’s a wonderful
thing!
Take care of you first! Do things that make you happy and
make you feel good. Create reserves! When you are happy and
healthy you have more to share with others.
6) Thank you for being my friend.
Get positive support. Assemble a group of amazing friends
who want the best for you and will be there to remind you
how amazing you are. Having supportive, positive people in
your life is crucial to calling forth the best in you.
7) Who’s that and what are they saying?
Others will be your mirror. Try to be conscious of your feelings
and when you feel a “charge”. If you are happy
and having great fun – look for the mirror that person
is holding up – the reflection is likely those qualities
about yourself that you enjoy most. Likewise, if you are not
happy with the reflection and feel a negative charge, look
for the mirror. How do those qualities show up in you? Awareness
creates choice.
8) Bye, Bye Excess Baggage
Let go of the past. Be emotionally available for a healthy,
happy relationship to come into your life. If you are holding
on to past hurts or past relationships that you wished you’d
handled differently – let them go. They are over. You
have a chance to start anew and get exactly what you really
desire.
9) You are so fascinating!
You had a life before you started dating, which may even
be what attracted your mate to you. Don’t lose yourself
in a new relationship and forget about your friends and all
the things you enjoy doing. Keep doing things that interest
you and find things you enjoy doing as a couple.
10) So that’s what that was about…
Be in relationship learning mode at all times. What patterns
of behavior show up in your relationships? Examine all that
didn’t work and look for new ways to behave your way
to healthy, happy relationships.
About The Author:
This piece was originally submitted by Jane Johnson, a certified
life coach who has experienced the world of internet dating.
After a nearly 20 year hiatus from dating, she immersed herself
in the activity. The following are tips from her observations,
interviews and personal experiences. You can reach her at
www.doingcoolstuff.com
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